worldsaway | [RIVERVIEW] ic inbox;

[ That's true and Loki nods reluctantly to admit that, his fingers circling each other once more in a state of nervous energy. He looks pointedly at the wall. Perhaps someday, being brothers won't be enough. When he returns to Asgard, it's quite possible he might just go mad once more. His brief foray into being an alternate self seems to tell him one thing: That Loki is no good to Asgard. That the longer he's there, the more he wants what was denied. It'll never be enough and the chasm only deepens.

Deep down, Loki believes — or even hopes that Thor will return home. His illusion will be unmasked and Loki will die. His reign at an end. Maybe he's simply looking for an end instead of a long life full of yearnings that can never come to pass. ]

No one has hurt me.

[ His tone is oddly gentle, as if to placate Thor's worries. ]

I'm all right.

[ Though Loki knows that's a ticking clock. That's what brought him here. He needed to feel, at least briefly, that some sentiments stand still. And Loki hasn't destroyed everything even when he does not mean to. ]

[The gentleness of Loki's tone doesn't placate much for Thor, but it makes him relent more than anything.

Internally, his retort to Loki is that they have hurt him and he's not alright. What happened to Loki is a mess of mixed signals and opportunities. Nowadays, Thor doesn't take his bonds for granted.]

The offer stands. [He says plainly, then continues.] Does Rogers give you what you want? [Desire with every fibre of his being, was it?]

[ Loki doesn't know yet. It's too new, too bright to see the edges clearly, though Loki knows they are there. ]

He gives.

[ His smile is faint but wry. ]

I suppose I am taking a chance.

Then we shall see how it goes.

[He sounds neither skeptical nor hopeful, he's still wrapping his brain around it all.]

Is there anything else I can fail to assist you with?

[ Loki rises, brushing his pants lightly. He has already said more than he would have liked to. Certain fears still have him tightly in their grip after all. The madness may have abated minutely due to his absence from Asgard and all that Loki knew, but he never let go of his demons. ]

You did not fail me.

[ As angry as Loki is with Thor, as bitter as he might feel when Thor doesn't understand, Loki knows that much. Thor was not the one who did this to him.

And he knew Thor mourned. ]

Try to remember that, won't you?

[Momentarily, Thor is taken aback by the statement. It comes almost entirely out of left-field and though Thor has probably spent hours imagining just what he would do or say if this were ever a conversation he'd be having, he cannot help but be silent.

Eventually, he leans back into a more comfortable position with a warm, if not still somewhat bewildered smile.]

Oh I won't take it lightly. Reassurance from Loki himself is valuable, I know that better than anyone. [He reaches over to give him a light shove.] Regardless of anything, of what anyone says, I am happy to have you here with me.

[ For now, the whisper tells him. Loki must appear so genteel, so calm and normal. It makes his skin itch. He meant what he said and Thor does too. But everything is finite. Love, family, security. Even Thor. No matter what steps he might take, Loki has seen how quickly it can crumble.

So he gives Thor a jerky nod, his face hidden away from his brother's eyes as he leaves, seemingly vanishing from sight. ]

[RIVERVIEW] ic inbox;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject