[ Unconsciously, Loki relaxes minutely after Thor's response. He had feared greatly that Thor's response would come down like a hammer and Loki would simply feel worse. Like grime under his fingernails. Or responsible for the grime. Granted, he's always been a glutton for punishment. Asking for answers that have never served his peace of mind. ]
I feel like a fool.
[ It's an echo of his words back on Svartalfheim, tired and parched. ]
He kissed Stark. He told me he loved me and kissed Stark all in the same breath. It was like — [ Loki cuts himself off abruptly. It was like hearing Odin talk again. Of how he wanted to use Loki and be his son. One and the same. ]
I am a fool and I'm tired, Thor. So I let it go. Does that help your peace of mind?
[ Loki has no illusions that Thor will play peace-keeper. Hope his brother doesn't enact his revenge. He is not wrong and Loki has no problem affirming as such. ]
Everyone feels a fool in romance. There's no romance without some amount of.. [He gestures vaguely for the word.] ..vulnerability.
[Thor shrugs his shoulders at Loki's question, he's not sure what he expected his response to be.]
I can't say I saw it coming, but I've never been particularly good at predicting this sort of thing. [Apparently.] Did you feel there was no use fighting for it, then? Did Rogers make his choice?
[ It comes out as a whisper, but still defiant. Loki fought and no one can strip that away from him. Not this time. ]
We will . . . as they say, play it by ear. Should he choose to pursue Stark completely, well . . . what I got is more than I hoped for.
[ It's been a whirlwind for them both. Loki isn't going to fool himself into believing that Steve would ever love him completely. Love him only. No one has been capable of doing that anyway. He'll always want more. That is his nature. But he can settle for scraps too. That much, Asgard has taught him.
Quietly, Loki runs his hand through his hair. He can't shake off the shade of foolishness and stupidity that hangs over his head. That his lackluster attempt at starting something new failed so badly. That it hurts even now, even when Steve and Loki settled it between them. That it is not ruined.
Perhaps he came to Thor because Thor always helped him believe there were other options. ]
I should go. I've taken up enough of your time with these matters.
You're a strange man, you know. You want for the best, but you hope- nay, expect the worst.
[Thor lifts his legs so Loki isn't pinned under him anymore. He's not as worried as he might have been a few months ago, he doesn't expect Loki will fly into a rage or scheme against Stark.
Although, part of him wonders if the fact that he doesn't expect is something to be concerned about in itself. Maybe because the defeated, downtrodden reaction is cause for deeper concern. Maybe because he should always be a little prepared for a sinister reaction.]
You're welcome to go, if you like. You're welcome to stay, too. I do nothing productive with my time, as I'm sure you know.
Your father made it clear my birthright is nothing, so such a contradiction is normal.
[ Loki rises, a sardonic twist to his lips. The sensation of being foolish hasn't lifted from his shoulders and he regrets coming here. Coming to Thor. He just feels worse than before. Perhaps it's time Loki took his own advice and let Thor go. He exhales quietly. ]
Goodbye Thor.
[ With that, he slips into the shadows, vanishing from sight. ]
no subject
I feel like a fool.
[ It's an echo of his words back on Svartalfheim, tired and parched. ]
He kissed Stark. He told me he loved me and kissed Stark all in the same breath. It was like — [ Loki cuts himself off abruptly. It was like hearing Odin talk again. Of how he wanted to use Loki and be his son. One and the same. ]
I am a fool and I'm tired, Thor. So I let it go. Does that help your peace of mind?
[ Loki has no illusions that Thor will play peace-keeper. Hope his brother doesn't enact his revenge. He is not wrong and Loki has no problem affirming as such. ]
no subject
[Thor shrugs his shoulders at Loki's question, he's not sure what he expected his response to be.]
I can't say I saw it coming, but I've never been particularly good at predicting this sort of thing. [Apparently.] Did you feel there was no use fighting for it, then? Did Rogers make his choice?
no subject
[ It comes out as a whisper, but still defiant. Loki fought and no one can strip that away from him. Not this time. ]
We will . . . as they say, play it by ear. Should he choose to pursue Stark completely, well . . . what I got is more than I hoped for.
[ It's been a whirlwind for them both. Loki isn't going to fool himself into believing that Steve would ever love him completely. Love him only. No one has been capable of doing that anyway. He'll always want more. That is his nature. But he can settle for scraps too. That much, Asgard has taught him.
Quietly, Loki runs his hand through his hair. He can't shake off the shade of foolishness and stupidity that hangs over his head. That his lackluster attempt at starting something new failed so badly. That it hurts even now, even when Steve and Loki settled it between them. That it is not ruined.
Perhaps he came to Thor because Thor always helped him believe there were other options. ]
I should go. I've taken up enough of your time with these matters.
no subject
[Thor lifts his legs so Loki isn't pinned under him anymore. He's not as worried as he might have been a few months ago, he doesn't expect Loki will fly into a rage or scheme against Stark.
Although, part of him wonders if the fact that he doesn't expect is something to be concerned about in itself. Maybe because the defeated, downtrodden reaction is cause for deeper concern. Maybe because he should always be a little prepared for a sinister reaction.]
You're welcome to go, if you like. You're welcome to stay, too. I do nothing productive with my time, as I'm sure you know.
no subject
[ Loki rises, a sardonic twist to his lips. The sensation of being foolish hasn't lifted from his shoulders and he regrets coming here. Coming to Thor. He just feels worse than before. Perhaps it's time Loki took his own advice and let Thor go. He exhales quietly. ]
Goodbye Thor.
[ With that, he slips into the shadows, vanishing from sight. ]