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[In unplanned and fairly comical synchronicity, they both raised their cups and took a drink.

They were dead men.]

Timeless! Perfect. That... was the only easy question.

[Now for the real work.]

What is she seeking and what are her preferences? Not a husband. Honest...? People? Valorous individuals... who can take a punch? And 'not assholes'? [Was 'not assholes' a preference? Sure. Sure, it was.]

If I knew what Sif sought, I'd be the wisest man in the universe.

[Thor says, somberly.]

If we're being honest, that's what she's seeking. If we're.. flouring her profile to help her along the way, she's looking for people who can handle her. Right? [Thor is oblivious to thousands and thousands of bad, cheesy dating profiles with that very same answer.]

[Ragnar chuckled in amusement, though what he was actually laughing at was questionable.]

Are we? [He seemed to go into deep, metaphorical contemplation... or he was nearly falling asleep. One or the other.] 'Handle her' is very suggestive. That's good, yes? I'm going to put one of those faces on there after it. The winking one.

I am going to put 'not assholes' for preference. That basically takes care of all the people she doesn't want.

Her interests: Hitting things. Hitting people. Weapons. [He's listing them off on his fingers as if they needed to keep count.]

Edited 2017-12-25 12:58 (UTC)

Yes, best filter out assholes. Her taste in men will be the death of her. [He gives Ragnar a pointed look that lasts a millisecond before he moves on.]

We're making her sound very intimidating. Maybe we should say something nicer- gentler? Like.. ahh.. Well. She... [He gestures.] She's passionate. She likes to care and protect. She likes a good feast, a good drink and she can dance when she's had enough good drinks.

[It's the intonation and the slight pause more than the pointed look that catches his attention, but by the time he thinks to actually look in Thor's direction, the god had moved on.]

What? She is intimidating. And 'passion' isn't an interest.

She does like a good feast though. And a good drink. I am going to put all of these in the list. [He frowns at the phone as it skips down to the 'Bio' section after he'd only entered three or four things. Strange.]

Bio. What does 'bio' mean again?

She is, but I thought we were making this to help people get past the fact that she's terrifying. [Duh!]

Bio is like a little summary of yourself. Who you are, what you do, what you hope to do and what you want people to know about yourself. Sif is a warrior and a goddess, she fights and she hopes to.. I don't know, find love?

... Right. [He frowns, possibly in thought or maybe because he was seeing double. It was difficult to say.] But. Shouldn't they like her because she's intimidating? ... Did you say terrifying? [He snorted in laughter.] Terrifying is a strong word.

Warrior and goddess. Good. 'I fight and I hope to'... [He once again can't help but laugh.] No. She does not want to find love. That is the last thing she wants.

Uhhhhm. I hope to... I hope to... meet you soon?

[He looked at the sad little bio they'd managed and dragged his hands down his face, scratching his fingers through his beard as he tried to think of ways to improve it. As it was, it was terrible.] What if... we put some of these tiny pictures after that? She likes animals, yes? And trees?

Maybe we should balance it out a little- they should know she's intimidating but they should know that she has a soft side as well.

Yes, the pictures will do nicely. Shows that she's playful. [Thor nods, raising a brow at Ragnar's insistence that she doesn't want love. He moves on.]

It reads well, but I think we're underselling her. Perhaps we should litter in a few compliments. She's beautiful, that's worth mentioning. And if she's not using this for love, then.. [Thor shrugs.] Maybe we ought to suggest it. Beautiful, wanton goddess. Something like that.

[Not that he could likely properly articulate what Sif had told him, nor should he. It had been a moment of weakness for Sif, something she would likely prefer to keep between herself and Ragnar, but he knew she was terrified of getting too attached, of loving and losing again.]

'Beautiful, wanton goddess? [Ragnar didn't quite manage to stifle the snort of laughter. It was definitely going into the profile.]

Done. What do you think? [He slid the phone to Thor. Not that it really mattered... it was posted now.]

[Thor laughs, then briefly fears for his life. Ragnar can watch as his one eye seems to darken as he has a small, internal crisis before he lights up again.]

I think it's perfect. [He smiles, putting a hand on Ragnar's shoulder and squeezing.] I think we're dead.

What? Why? [He downs the rest of his drink and actually has the sense to wave off the bartender's offer of a refill.] We've saved her time and trouble.

And maybe she will make some new friends.

What's not to like about this?

For me? Nothing. It's perfection.

[Thor nods, solemnly.]

For Sif, I imagine she will not like anything about it. But it's a noble sacrifice.

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