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[worldsaway]

[To say it's been a long week would be some kind of massive understatement. It's been a very long week. It's been the worst week. Things probably couldn't get worse, but Thor felt that way before he knew that things could go downhill so quickly.

Thor feels a mixture of things most days. He ranges from angry to sad. He feels lonely, he feels tired and drained. His heart aches, his body hurts and although he dearly wants to rest he can't close his eyes without hearing screams and cries and watching the last few memories of his life over and over.

He should have aimed for the head.

He doesn't find solace in much. Much except Mantis. Her mood must be as low as his, but her manner is far more gentle. Thor finds he can force a smile for her, and soon he finds he doesn't really need to force it when he's around her. He knows it's inappropriate, but he's tired and lonely and desperate to feel the faint, fragile warmth she instills in him.

He knows she can make him sleep and he knows he'll sleep better with someone near him. He tries to ignore the fact that it's the company he wants more than the rest.

They're all stowed away in the spaces Wakanda can provide, but with just enough privacy to have a room to themselves. He knows where her room is and he finds himself walking toward it, guided by his impulses.

His hand raps gently on her door and he calls out in a low voice.]

Mantis?

Comments

[innerbeauty]

[ Whether or not Terra is a good place, Mantis can't say. Wakanda, this country she's found herself in, could be beautiful, an expanse of sky that seems to go on forever and earth that is good and breeds life. It could very well be paradise. But now, it's a prison full of ghosts of those who never actually stepped foot here.

Still, the ship would have been much worse. Quill is gone. Gamora, Drax...Groot. Their memories cling to her, despair settled deep inside like she's never felt before. Of those who went to Titan, only she, Nebula, and Tony Stark remain. Nebula escaped far into the galaxy, refusing to come along with the survivors to safety. She hasn't seen Tony Stark in days.

Rocket, she's told, survived. He too has gone somwhere far off - to mourn. No one says it, yet she's certain.

Thor is the only one left in Wakanda that she knows, the only one who feels familiar (like the Guardians, like a home), so she stays by his side like a shadow for the most part. In everyone, she feels loss; in him alone, she can see the reflection of open loss that she can understand.

At his knock, she opens the door. Peers out with eyes that are clearly wet with tears that she makes no attempt to hide. Why would she? Her tears have never inhibited her. All the while, the sight of him tugs her lips upward. ]

Yes? [ And then, the fledgling smile falters: ] What's wrong?

[ Because "wrong" is now more prevalent than "right." ]

[worldsaway]

[Thor feels a pang of guilt when Mantis opens the door. Even if she's smiling, the tears in her eyes worry him. He can't make it better, he can't fix it for her or anyone. He doesn't have much assurance he can offer, but he can give her company.

He reaches out, brushing the back of his fingers under her eye to wipe away a tear.]

Nothing new. [He says, wryly.] I can't sleep, and I wondered how you were.

i can already tell this thread's going to ruin me

[innerbeauty]

[ From the way Mantis...not exactly stiffens, but looks at him with a certain sideways curiosity. As if no one's ever touched her in such a gentle way, especially not in a gesture of comfort.

For a moment, she reaches up, brushing her palm against the back of his hand. ]

Night is the worst time. For all of us, I can feel it. [ None of her exceptionally terribly executed lies here, though an evasion of how she is directly.

(If only she would have held on, just for one more moment...)

Thor has come to her for help. He doesn't need anything else weighing on his mind. Besides, the promise of being useful already has her perking up already. With one hand, she wipes her own tears away - with the other, she gentle tugs at his hand as she steps aside to invite him in.

She can do this. She can be stronger than before. ]

Please. [ A nod. ] If you would like, I can help you relax and get to sleep.

same, friend

[worldsaway]

[Until now, Thor hadn't quite considered how hard Mantis' powers must make this for her. He can barely handle his own feelings, he can't imagine handling everyone's emotions on top of it.

He feels guilt, coming to her so late and wanting her help when she's already tired herself. He starts to abandon the idea of wanting sleep, more interested in the company.

Thor lets her tug him by the hand, but he doesn't need the encouragement to follow her into her room.

He's not really sure what compels him to do it, but his hand closes around hers and guides her closer to him until they're chest to chest. His free hand glides over her cheek again, but this time it weaves into her hair as he moves in to press their lips together. He's not sure what compels him, but it feels right and it feels safe.]

[innerbeauty]

[ Once in the company of the Guardians, Mantis had learned quickly that most don't like their emotions discerned. She can't understand why, entirely - their feelings are their own, nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing up to be judged - though she respects their wishes. When in doubt, she asks before she siphons. Better safe than sorry.

"Better safe than sorry" is what she'd heard Quill say once. It's a figure of speech, she knows, yet she'd hardly seen him safe and sorry even less so. Now he's neither, and she's the latter.

With Thor's mouth on hers with no provocation, however, she can't ask for permission nor stop herself from skimming the broad strokes of what he's feeling, her antennae glowing in the low dimness.

Not that she can name this new, untouched mental state he envokes. There's melancholy, yes, and a warmth as well. A rebirth of a tiny, beaten sapling after torrential rain.

It feels like when she'd stepped on to the ship that took her away from Ego's self-destruction. ]

Why did you do that? [ The question when they part isn't accusatory as she gazes up at him. The two of them, they're not like Gamora and Quill, which is her only frame of reference for romantic shows of affection. And surely they're adequate and exemplary, right?

Still, the curiosity that builds in her dark, wide eyes is not so much about the answer as it is about that feeling.

She'd like to experience it once more. ]

Explain it to me, but I want to do that again first.

[ He did it first, which means it's okay. She doesn't have to ask, she can lean in and touch lips to lips, challenge that it is.

He is very tall. ]

[worldsaway]

[When Mantis doesn't protest, Thor feels relief. He'd hate for her to feel as if he's forcing himself on her, he doesn't want to change the nature of their relationship if it means losing what he has.

He feels no regret. If anything, the warmth he feels around her has intensified. He seems a little confused by her own confusion, raising a brow when he pulls back from her.]

I think you'd know better than I.

[He lifts a hand to tease his fingertip under her antennae. When she leans up to try kiss him back, it brings forward the first sincere laugh he's experienced for a long time now. It almost aches, it's like using muscles he hasn't in years.

His smile grows and the fondness in his eye intensifies, everything around him disappears and she's the only thing of importance or relevance for this moment. He brushes her hair back from her face and leans in to kiss her again.

He hasn't explained it, he won't. He knows she can feel it, feel his attraction, his fondness, his loneliness and the comfort she gives him.

She's naive but she's not a child, she's a woman and she deserves to be treated as well as one. His arm slides around to rest on the small of her back and his tongue flicks over her bottom lip, eagerly.]

[innerbeauty]

Empathy is not telepathy, Thor. [ For the grousing she'd lacked earlier, she makes up now in the mildest of annoyance, her lips pursed and brows furrowed. Everyone seems to forget that distinction; it's an important one! Well, she won't hold it against Thor, especially not as he distracts her by stroking her antenna. ]

-!

[ The noise she makes can't be described in human terms, at least not in words that neatly fit. A trill is closest to the mark, and while its delicate and lilting nature might make any other culprit blush, Mantis doesn't pinken a tick.

At least not visibly.

She probably wouldn't notice, anyway, given that she's now wrapping her arms around Thor, fingers locking behind his shoulder blades as she drinks in what he has to offer.

If he insists she learns what he's feeling to the letter, she will. The reality's beginning to crystallize and she can grope at the shapes of his nature right now. Even in the face of Thanos's tyranny, he shines like a supernova.

He cannot be faded.

...that ebb of attraction does bring a blush to her cheeks in a near-autonomous reaction. ]

[worldsaway]

[Just as Mantis brought back his laughter, she's bringing back other feelings he's buried for some time. It aches again, the wanting feeling he has for her is strengthening with every trill and touch.

It seems silly to feel this way, at a time like this. It's not a situation that lends itself to romance and yet, they both need it more than ever. Thor is eager to lose himself in it for the evening and not consider what could happen the day after.

And yet, there's a slight inclination to make it continue. Thor is driven by his desire to protect, taking Mantis under his wing is no surprise. What surprises him is that he finds himself entrusting her with something he's barely considered until now. The universe has lost half of it's population- some even more than half. It's only natural that his mind should turn to repopulating, especially while they still can. He's disregarded the fact that at least some of his attraction to her stems from the fact that she's an eligible candidate for keeping his line alive.

He pulls back from the kiss, cupping her face when he looks down at her.]

Have you ever kissed someone before?

[Her inexperience worries him, as if he's taking advantage of her or limiting her from her full experience. His instincts say that those things don't matter, that primal urges to take a woman and repopulate outweigh his concerns.]

[innerbeauty]

No. [ Because there's no reason to pretend otherwise; it's not a vested interest of hers to line a repertoire with false achievements. She's never kissed anyone before him. Similarly, she hasn't piloted a ship alone, made something wonderful with her own hands, visited so many planets they all start to blur together, met Kevin Bacon, or cuddled a puppy that doesn't bite her or belong in the trash.

She wants to do all these, in no particular order.

Unlike before, when she'd braced his hand with hers, she instead places her palm at the center of his chest. Once more, she feels. ]

This bothers you. [ She shakes her head, eyes downcast as a beat passes. Mixed emotions, despite how many she feels herself, perplex her.

She wants...

There's nothing wrong with wanting. After shrugging off cycle's of Ego's lessons - you live to serve Ego, you have no ego - she's finally learned that. Maybe, there's nothing wrong with wanting someone, either.

She looks up at him with determination playing at her lips. ]

You shouldn't. I like kissing you.

[ With all seriousness.

And another kiss, soft on the corner of his mouth, for good measure. ]

[worldsaway]

[Thor closes his eye when Mantis reads his guilt, he bows his head as if to concede to the allegation even though they both know it's true.

He puts his hand over hers and smiles. Her determination is encouraging, although he still feels some guilt for his thoughts.]

I like kissing you too. [He responds, turning into the kiss on his mouth so he can kiss her back properly. He rubs his thumb over her hand, contemplative.]

I want to do more than kiss you.

*walks in with Starbucks three months late*

[innerbeauty]

More?

[ Contrary to what many might think, Mantis isn’t ignorant to sexuality. Lust, after all, is simply another emotion, often times amplified just as much - if not more - than all the others.

And she lives (lived, the correction hasn’t settled itself) with Peter Quill. If she’d been pure before, she couldn’t be by now.

Yet what coils in her stomach isn’t lust as she’d recognizes it, and she has to figure that out.

Unabashedly, she cradles Thor’s chin so she can look at him clearly. ]

Can I do more for you? I want to know what that means.