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[worldsaway]

"Poor timing. Leave your name so I can seek you out in future."

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[worldsaway]

Not on purpose. [Thor argues. Putting an end to his fear would require admitting that he's afraid of himself in the first place.]

You cannot tell me you aren't the least bit afraid of what will become of us. [He's almost desperate for Loki to admit that he's worried, too. He doesn't want to be the first to say that, for once, he truly is afraid of what might happen next.

He always goes into battle with confidence, but there's so much he can't comprehend and so many things he's learning only now. He's never had visions and he's never had power like this before.

Loki is the only familiar thing, but he may well have been what lead to their destruction. Regardless, Thor still wants him to be scared, so he can be the brave one who protects them.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ For a minute, there's nothing but silence. Thor's words hang in the air. Finally, Loki sits down, his hands folded together. He does not make eye contact, his usual tell when he is trying to put into words something deeply personal without wavering. Most people feel the opposite, but Loki changes when he makes eye contact. The need to conform, to bend to other's expectations comes from making eye contact and Loki could not afford that right now. ]

I'm always afraid.

[ The words comes out quietly, a quiet puff of breath. For a moment, Loki considers taking it back, leaving. Fear leaves him bare, leaves him without his defenses. And yet. ]

I hurt Taako recently and I stayed away because I thought he would not come back. I hurt Steve once. He called me a mistake and I don't know how I stayed then, but I was scared. I was scared when I told you the truth and realized there was no coming back from it.

[ Loki exhales, digging his fingers into his palms in frustration. ]

It is always, always like this since the Vault. I don't think I remember a time when I haven't been scared, Thor. But I know this much — I am tired of it.

[worldsaway]

[Thor doesn't press for words to fill the silence. He's patient, waiting for Loki to withdraw from himself and talk.

His lips press into a thin line, hearing it. It becomes apparent that Loki has monsters Thor can't fight for him, just as Thor has problems Loki can't soothe with words.

It doesn't matter how far they stray, Loki is a familiar comfort. His words hold weight for Thor, they mean more than anyone else's. He aches, knowing Loki is afraid and he's powerless, but he's right to worry that they may never come back from whatever happens back home.]

Perhaps for once, Loki needs to be brave and Thor needs to be clever? [His voice still has a strain to it, like he needs to convince himself as much as Loki.

He circles him, planting his hands on his shoulders to grip them firmly.]

You've come so far now, further than even I thought you could. [He squeezes his shoulders, then releases them.] You can keep going.

[dothelokimotion]

I — [ He squeezes his eyes briefly, not wanting to let any other weakness show before opening them once more ] — I suppose I am not ready to stop.

[ Even though that would be far easier. But Loki has started digging his heels and stopped taking the easy way out. ]

Are you scared, brother?

[worldsaway]

I'm concerned.

[It feels a little dishonest, in the wake of Loki's admittance. He quite obviously grapples with it for a moment before he speaks.]

If I could allow myself to live in blissful ignorance, I think I would.

[dothelokimotion]

You were never made for ignorance.

[ As tempting as it sounds, Loki has a hard time picturing Thor doing it. ]

You had your fill of it in Asgard long ago. Whatever comes, you are still mighty. You will handle it.

[worldsaway]

You're very generous with your flattery today, Loki.

[Thor smiles. His hands stay on Loki's shoulders, still squeezing.]

Whatever happens in there- I can't promise I won't be angry with you. But I can promise I won't forget how far you've come out here. If you can find happiness here, well, I have hope for you anywhere.

[His smile softens, he reflects and remembers a moment they shared what feels like forever ago.]

Now, give us a kiss.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki huffs. ]

It's not my fault you're missing the obvious. Brooding away. It's disturbing.

[ But his eyes flicker down to Thor's hands on his shoulders as he relaxes. At least that promise exists. It is far more than he had hoped for. Still, . . . Loki takes the cushion to throw it at Thor's face. Kiss indeed. ]

[worldsaway]

I brood because you make me.

[Thor says, defiantly. He's not quick enough to dodge the pillow coming at him, so he grunts when it smacks him square on the nose.

He fumbles to catch it, swinging his arm back and forth to pelt Loki as many times as he can with it.]

[dothelokimotion]

You don't get to pin this on me — Argh, you brute!

[ Loki flails, covering his face with his arms. ]

[worldsaway]

I can pin a little of it on you. [Thor relents, for a moment, but decides to have one more swing at it.]

Have you told Steve- about your canister?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki makes the pillow disappear with a grin before it falls slightly at Thor's question. ]

No. I didn't want to deliver bad news without knowing what it might be first.

[worldsaway]

[Thor regrets making the grin fade away, but he's glad he asked.]

Seems like a good idea. [He folds his arms over his chest, contemplative.] Maybe I shouldn't have told Bryn.

[dothelokimotion]

[ He glances at Thor, weighing his response. ]

Steve asked me to go back to his world with him.

[worldsaway]

[Thor's expression seems to change a few times before he can settle on something neutral. There's surprise and obvious disappointment that he needs to hide before he nods.]

Then you should.

[dothelokimotion]

Oh, Thor.

[ It's sad, sometimes. How well they can reach each other and how often they struggle to. He rises on his feet, touching his cheek. ]

You are the worst liar in all the Nine Realms.

[worldsaway]

I'm not lying. [He argues, but he lets his eyes fall shut as Loki's hand grazes his cheek.

He opens them, trying not to give too much again.]

What I want and what should happen aren't always one and the same. Even I know that.

[dothelokimotion]

[ It is true that Thor has at least learned to listen. They no longer spit poison at each other. Perhaps the change of scenery had helped, without the weight of the throne hanging above them. Maybe, as Taako and Steve had said, Loki has changed, even if it leaves him formless and unsure, not knowing where he should go or be. Would Odin simply banish him now? Or worse? ]

What should happen, Thor?

[worldsaway]

You should go home.

[Thor explains, but it's hesitant. He's explaining it to himself as well.]

Asgard isn't a home to you, nor is the Earth we know. It could be with Steve, it could be anywhere. But it doesn't have to be with me.

[His smile strains.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ You don't mean that, but Loki can tell that he does. It is simultaneously the best and worst thing Thor has ever told him. He lets his hand drop, looking to the side. ]

Right. It's . . . probably for the best if I don't return anyway.

[worldsaway]

You'll do well wherever you go. You're adaptable, for a stubborn arse.

[He reaches out to give Loki a gentle push.] You'll still mean everything to me. Wherever you go.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki allows it this time. ]

Mmm. Maybe I'll drop in unannounced every century or so.

[worldsaway]

You don't have to visit, but a letter every now and then would be nice.

[He suggests, then rethinks.] Preferably not one filled with poison.

[dothelokimotion]

I'll keep them a page long so I can be sure you've read them.

[worldsaway]

Very kind of you. [Bluntly, with the air of someone deeply considering thumping their brother on the arm.]

This is getting awkward. I should go. [Always the blunt one. Thor needs to be sad alone somewhere.]