worldsaway | IC INBOX

are you really fine?
like you haven't been out in this shit, right?
or you have and you're with a buddy at least?

...oh.

[ Cue Deadpool outside in this snow, glancing around him on an unfamiliar road, definitely not where he thought he was a moment ago. ]

that would explain why I'm lost.

Ah, so not only are you out in the snow, having warned me not to be in it, you're lost in it?

Are you near a landmark?

Can we please FOCUS, Thunderson?
I'm sending you a panoramic shot

[ He basically sends over a video of a 360-degree view of where he is. Thankfully, there is a recognizable landmark conveniently near his intended destination, likely because he's abused his ability to break the fourth wall. ]

I'm also attaching coordinates
Please hurry
I can't feel my toes

[ What do you call a hero who turns into the damsel in distress? Deadpool. ]

I am getting my coat.

[He lies, because he left before Wade even sent the photo.]

What do your toes normally feel like?

[He expects an answer upon arrival, because the information is enough for him to use Stormbreaker. Which means, Wade will hear an absolutely terrifying boom of thunder before Thor appears before him.]

Well?

They feel kinda uncomfy maybe sweaty
what do toes nrmally feel lke
it getng hard to tpe

[ By the time that boom of thunder crackles around him, by the time Thor arrives, Deadpool is ready to throw himself at him. ]

F-f-fucking freezing.

[ And that's the truth. He's going to cling to Thor for dear fucking life because his extremities have already started to appear washed out and frozen over, and Synchrony's the only cure. He could have found salve in others, but he's singled out Thor for a reason, be it reasonable or not. ]

Th-thanks.

[Thor opens his arms as Wade approaches, as if anticipating Wade's next move before he makes it. He politely wraps his arms around him, rubbing his back in a soothing manner before he hoists him up like he's lifting up a toddler.

Cold as he is, he anticipates that Wade will cling onto him enough to survive the trip to the cottage. Thor raises Stormbreaker up and, with a flash, they're outside his cottage.

He opens the door, setting his axe down by the door and gently setting Wade on the chair closest to the fire which has waned since his short trip. He sets about looking for a blanket and returns with one, draping it over his shoulders and rubbing them as he does.]

What did we learn today?

[ Wade has exactly enough time to appreciate the warmth of a friend, appreciate Thor's massive upper body strength, and how he's probably better than anything Noctium can put forward as their answer to Uber. He objects half-heartedly at being picked up, only with small ums and excuse mes and hey nows before it's clear he's surrendered himself to his fate and doesn't regret a moment of it, not even the part where he's being scrubbed down like a damn kid.

He gets over that part pretty quickly. He does, after all, color with crayons and play with figurines like one. He chirps back, suppressing a shiver which has considerably died down compared to the state he was in at first. ]

That I can always count on a friend!

[ This is without a doubt the wrong answer. But Wade's already made physical contact, so as the enchanted frost begins to thaw out, he can only speak the truth. Whatever the truth looks like in a brain riddled with cancer and a splash of crazy. ]

I mean... Always get directions before venturing into the magic balls-freezing snowstorm?

[In fairness, not only does Wade act like an overgrown and over-sexual toddler but it is terribly easy for Thor to rag-doll around most of his companions.]

That is true. [Thor shifts, sitting to occupy the side of a chair that is not really big enough for two big men. He sets his hand on the top of his head, stroking the rubbery fabric reassuringly and guiding it down toward his chest.]

Why don't you unmask yourself?

[ Typically, Wade's the one who aggressively clings, leaning hard into dubious consent of a cuddling sort until he's worn someone out and they finally relent. Thor seems happy to be the giant, effortlessly hot god of Thunder and really great hugs. Seeing as there's little room to work with, Wade swings a leg over one thigh and rests his head against his chest. ]

Why don't I? Body image issues, mostly. [ Love that forced truth side effect, although one could argue Wade would have admitted as much if he thought it sounded funny, or just because he felt like it — with or without the added effect thrown in. He lifts his head for a moment and reaches to tear open the velcro in the back. ] Don't say I didn't warn you!

[ Off comes the mask, out comes a cross between Ryan Reynolds and a Shar-Pei. ]

You're breathtaking, so I'm gonna offer you a one-time free pass on asking me to put the mask back on — no hard feelings. Scout's honor.

Edited 2022-02-28 21:23 (UTC)

[Thor pulls a considerate face as Wade offers an explanation. It's definitely the face of someone who doesn't really understand, but he's trying. He drops his hand as Wade starts to pull at the mask, training his expression into something neutral as it slips off his face.

His brow does arch as he takes it in, but he certainly doesn't look disgusted. His hand moves to rest loosely on the back of his neck and he guides him in, pressing their lips together for a soft kiss.

Then he pulls back, and smiles like Thor always smiles.]

Was it acid?

[That's about where the appropriateness ends for him.]

[ There's always a guarded expression that follows when the mask first comes off in the presence of someone else. Particular someone he's desperately hoping not to fuck it up with, knowing full well his mouth puts him at a disadvantage. Ehen he feels a warm and gentle hand at the back of his neck, his eyes flick to Thor's face - on high alert - until it becomes very apparent his intent is to kiss him. Wade lets out a small oh before he's sucking in a mildly surprised (and not complaining) sigh through his nose, then returning the kiss.

Stupid sexy Space God of Thunder and the effortless way he just shuts even this motormouth with a kiss. ]

What? [ Wade takes a second to yank himself out of it, snapping out of a dreamy look. ] No! No, no! Actually, I was kinda duped into joining this experiment and basically tortured until it triggered this. A mutation. I'm a mutant. [ Actually, it's called mutate. ] My superpower basically means I'm unkillable. Stronger, faster, all of the usual super-stuff.

[ This is a massive oversimplification, but he's quickly asking with blunt honesty: ]

...Did you just kiss me to make me feel better? I only ask because that, that worked really well.

[That is a lot of information that Wade is laying at his feet. Thor considers it, considers that it sounds like what he knows of Wanda if her experiments went horribly wrong. More so than they already did for her, that is.]

I do seem to recall you withstood some blows from me. [When Thor wasn't pulling his punches, either. He was impressed at the time, he still is, but it's good to know why.]

I kissed you because I didn't know what to say. [Thor says, sheepishly.] And it seemed right-- felt right too, actually. Did you like it?

Fair. And yeah, I did. [ This fucking forced truth is such a pain. But the kiss was nice. A kiss from Thor is awesome, actually. ]

And for the record? I took more than just a few blows, I recall having some really physics-twisting sex with you. 10 outta 10, would bottom again. Hopefully soon, like... tonight?

[ Wade gives Thor a cautiously optimistic look. He lifts his brows, or would if he still had hair. ]

Or, you know. Raincheck.

Yes, that was.. truly remarkable. [Thor needs a moment to go somewhere else, back to that simpler time. Then he's back, and he gives Wade a funny look like he's not sure he's serious. The optimism indicates that he is.

Thor brushes his fingers gently over Wade's bald head, reassuring and affectionate.]

You were frozen solid not moments ago. [He points out, but he drops his hand and extends it toward one of Wade's anyway.]

If you'd like to keep each other warm in my bed, you'd be my guest. I can't promise the same dynamics, though. My cock isn't normally that big.

[Ah, honesty.]

[ Wade's pretty sure that would kill him and wouldn't be fun for anyone. ]

I'll manage somehow.

[ He quips in that deadpan way that is 100% fine with not being demolished from the inside out because of monstrous anatomy. It was fun while it lasted when he was transformed with what he can only term a 'Bag of Holding' for a body, but he's not interested in tangoing with that beast like that. No, no, no, Original Brand Thor suits him just fine.

Wade takes his hand, but he slings a leg over Thor's lap and straddles him instead, pulling his hand to rest on his hip, then reaches for the other. He's still wearing the suit, of course, but he's also not in a hurry. As Thor pointed out, he was frozen not too long ago, and he's still thawing. He's just thawing in a more interesting way. ]

I've been meaning to ask, have you ever nut so hard you did a... [ He moves his fingers around in the air. ] A thunder thing?

[ It's a miracle Wade ever gets laid at all with the shit he says. ]

No.

[Thor says, bluntly. Sometimes he humours a silly question, sometimes it warrants a very firm response.]

But I invite you to try.

[He adds, even if he's not really sure it's possible but if anyone can figure it out it is probably Wade. As he adjusts on his lap, Thor winds his arms around him to support his weight and stands up.

It's a little unwieldy since Wade isn't a small man and Thor is a huge man, but he begins to slowly walk them both up the stairs as he kisses Wade's neck. He shoulders into his bedroom, tossing Wade onto the bed with gusto.]

Make yourself at home.

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since you're back from hiatus! just gonna... fill that inbox

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